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Legend has it that one day we’ll all go to the great tiki lounge in the sky, that mythical place where Duke Dumont’s virtual reality is actually *real* reality. Actually, come to think of it, we’re actually pretty sure that was Thailand. In any case, in the great pool party in the sky, the big kidney pool never heats up with the summer sun, chimpanzee butlers on roller skates come by and refresh your drink whenever it gets low, and your knees and back are made of rubber so you can never lose a limbo contest no matter how low the bar. The grill is always open, and beautiful people gravitate towards you like wannabe actresses to new Instagram filters. And of course, all your pals are there: The Bearded Man, Grizzly Joe, Stinky Pete, and obviously, Sick Individuals and Stevie’s both Appleton and Wonder. To some, it’s a far-off fantasy land, to The Bearded Man, it’s home.

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